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How was your May? Here, at Paterson Towers, it was the usual cacophonous and stress-filled anarchy. With two thirds of The Spawn still in residence, I doubt it will ever be anything else.

The Princess Of Darkness knows better than her parents, of course. Both She Who Is Never Wrong and my bad self have been nagging, to no avail, obviously, regarding the unbelievable state of her room. A common enough teen-age phenomenon, admittedly, but in POD’s case, not so much a room as a XL-sized Petri dish. Indeed, new life forms are rumoured to be thriving in the many dank and noxious nooks and crannies

We are currently considering applications for access passes from David Attenborough and his film crew while 3 Para are keen on utilizing the, ah, facilities as part of their extreme survival training for new recruits.

It was, then, numbingly predictable  that illness or injury would, at some point, occur. In this case, a broken mirror I’d demanded on several occasions be thrown out, somehow managed, all by itself, you understand, to dislodge a piece of itself and insert it deep into POD’s hand. Great…

She Who Is Never Wrong did the A&E run and reported back that permanent damage had been avoided but a three inch sliver of glass had been extracted from the injured hand. This was to be saved as a reminder to POD to clean up her room (and her act). A tearful daughter assured us her room would never again degenerate to such a state. Yeah, right. My breath remains unheld…

What else? Oh, yeah; Satanicus Maximus was punched viciously in the head during a completely random and unprovoked assault while riding his thirteen year-old self home from the park. Although I’ve fought almost unbearably overwhelming urges to do precisely that, countless times over the years, it was, nevertheless, a fecking outrage and Hell’s comeback gig at MFN was jettisoned in favour of driving around the town in a fruitless search for the cowardly scum responsible.

In other news, my two fave unsigned bands, Toxic Federation and Isolysis, have both recently finished shooting and producing new videos. In the Feddies’ case, theirs is to accompany new single, Distance, and some piece of work it is too. She Who Is Never Wrong pitched the concept to the band and their manager, the tireless Beth Windsor, and after working with them, a decent amount of footage was passed to young Spielberg, or JR Windsor, as he’s more commonly known, for editing and post-production. The finished product is simply breathtaking and yet another string to the Federation’s DIY bow has now been added.

It’s currently in the hands of the band’s booking agency with a release date of Very Soon and more than that I’m forbidden to say but you’re gonna love it when it’s out.

As for Ilkeston’s finest, they’ve taken a totally different route to produce a worthy visual experience to compliment their forthcoming acoustic E.P. The song chosen is the recently George Coleman-produced, Needless To Say. Yours truly had a preview just yesterday and I can tell you this much; it’s like nothing you’ve seen from the band before. It’s moving, beautiful and thought-provoking.

Directed and produced by Brett Turner, who fans will know worked with the band on both their last two videos, New Disorder and The Condemned, it’s confirmed for a June 15th release.

A trip home, to “…the land of my infant nurture”, and catching up with family in Alloa and Stirling made for a busy month even by the usual mental standards here. Add in the usual round of album reviews, gig reviews, deadlines, release dates and blah blah blah and waddya know? It’ll soon be Sunny June. Aye, right. My breath, again, is unheld…