First published by Midlands Rocks, 13th June 2012, http://www.themidlandsrocks.com/black-sabbath-download-2012/#.T92HmRf2aSo
“They’re, like, so iconic, you know?” The skinny, teenage fop in front of me automatically trots out the approved line. He’s from Christ-knows-where. Kerrang, perhaps. Scuzz, maybe or possibly a ‘brand’. One of those clothing lines that the arbiters of the new metal cool insist we all need to make our cred complete. He looks just the type.
He’s yakking on auto-pilot but he aint listening. His eyes are zig-zagging all over the place; carefully scoping out the backstage press area in case someone powerful, important, someone more influential, ambles on by. The kid don’t know from shit. The neck tattoo, check-patterned footwear and carefully-coiffured fringe tell me all I need to know. I close my eyes. If I can’t see him maybe the pain his vacuous inanities induce will go away. Maybe he will. No such luck. He’s still there.
“It’s, like, Ozzy’s a major brand now, yeah?” Christ, shoot me now. Or him. He actually said that. “This is a genius move, the reformation, a chance to give the kids a look at what it’s all about”. The kids? Really? This from an organism barely older than a sperm and, incredibly, the brightest and best of the bunch that motored along his momma’s fallopian highway. This depresses me. I close my eyes again and dream of nuclear bombs firing on Hipsterville. Horsemen of the metal apocalypse riding grimly into view, determinedly cutting out the cancer of fashion and uber-cool…[continue reading]